Skylands gone screwy
by tails267
Summary: Pop Fizz has created an awesome new potion, too bad it has some pretty crazy side effects. Freeze Blade in a suit? Night Shift and Rattle Shake are best friends? Whirlwind is a punk? This is Skylands gone screwy!


**Warning: This story is contains lots of randomness, weirdness and out of character-ness. Please don't take this story seriously! It has purely been written for humor purposes, not because I hate Skylanders or any of the characters, I just like making fun of them sometimes.**

**Skylanders © to Activision**

**Flower the weasel © me**

Just south of Woodburrow, within the boundary of the Cloudbreak Islands, stood Skyland's finest weather studio. The one stop shop for all pilots, heroes and holiday makers in need of knowing the local weather. It was within this great building that the lights and cameras had been switched on ready for the main reporter to enter, who at this point was sat in his dressing room combing his slick silvery fur.

"Quiet on the sett! We're ready to roll," A camera Mabu called as the studio grew silent in preparation for the broadcast.

An ice cat dressed in a dapper dark blue suit and tie strolled in and took his seat, straitening the small pile of papers on his desk. He addressed the watchers in a professional, well knowledged tone.

"Welcome young and old to the Skylands Sky Hight weather report, I, Freeze Blade, will be your host."

A projector displaying various areas of Skylands was shown behind him.

"Today in Lava Lakes it will be incredibly thermogenic, perfect for a sizzling BBQ. Elsewhere in the Ice Kingdom it's exactly the opposite, I suggest wearing a scarf unless you want a dire case of frostbite. The region of Windham would also be a pleasant spot today-"

"I'm the cat with the base and drum going round like bom bom bom!"

To the much confusion of Freeze Blade, Night Shift swung in on a vine and landed just to the edge of the studio, singing all the way (If you could call it singing).

"What's moving? I'm grooving, I like your style of whomping!"

"What the deuce? Who let him in?" He gazed suspiciously round the studio.

"It doesn't matter 'cause we can't stop and we won't stop!"

Freeze Blade lightly facepalmed, knowing he should of taken that aspirin this morning.

At the other end of the studio a snake with arms skipped (just use your imagination here) in, a basket of flowers in one hand while he tossed the bloomers with the other.

"Rattle!" Night Shift charged towards to him. "How's it going Snake?"

"It's going fantabulous!" The snake gave him a friendly hug. "I just found the perfect flower gathering spot just past Terrafin's Tattoo Shop."

"No way! I never would of thought to look there."

"This is all well and good but could you please get out of my studio! I have a report to finish."

The two undead ones looked towards Freeze Blade for a moment then back at each other.

"I know, let's have a sleepover!" Burst out Rattle Shake, very pleased with his idea. "We could watch movies and order pizza!"

"Let's invite others too," Night Shift turned to the cross-armed reporter. "Would you like to come Freeze Blade?"

"Yeah, please come Freeze Blade." Rattle Shake joined in.

"If I must," the Skylander sighed. "It's not like I had any weather warnings to give out."

"Great!" Rattle Shake clapped, missing the sarcasm in Freeze Blade's voice. "We'll find some others on the way, come on!"

The undead Skylanders left the studio the same way they had entered, leaving Freeze Blade trailing hesitantly behind.

Xxxxxx

Somewhere else not too far away in a secret lab, a gremlin and a weasel were watching the amusing scene unfold, trying hard to control their mirth at how these Skylanders were acting. Though they felt a slight trickle of guilt that they had caused this, it was overpowered by the feeling of amusement.

"I have to say Fizz, this is the best idea you've ever had. A personality changing potion, genius!"

"It was nothing," He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, a slight look of concern taking over his features. "Though I'm a little worried at what they're going to do to us once they find out."

"Don't sweat it, they'll never suspect a thing."

"You're right. Have you got the camera?"

"Oh, yes!" She held up the large video camera, eyes glinting.

"Good," He got out a potion and a box of popcorn. "Let the show begin!"

xxxxxxx

"This is going to be splendid! We can stay up late and watch scary movies and take selfies!"

The three Skylanders slithered, floated or skated along a dirt track winding through a sunny green area, looking for others to join them at Rattle Shake's house. They hadn't come across anyone yet, until Night Shift spied a rhino sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat on a small grassy verge by the road. Night Shift approached him.

"Hey Fryno, do you wanna join us for a sleepover at Rattle Shake's place?"

Fryno barely moved from his relaxed position, only opening one eye. "I can not, as it would disturb the inner peace I have found." He inhaled deeply, continuing with his meditation.

"So, is that a no?"

No answer.

Knowing they'd get no further with the peaceful rhino, the group set off back down the path; Freeze Blade recognised a familiar face strolling towards them.

"Stink Bomb! Is that you?"

The skunk was clad in a black and white suit similar to Freeze Blade's, a cane by his side and a fine top hat perched on his well groomed head. He carried the unmistakable stench of strong masculine perfume.

"Greetings Freeze Blade, how are you old chap?" He brushed his impressive mustache as he spoke.

"It would be going good if I wasn't stuck with these two loonies." He gestured to Night Shift and Rattle Shake, who were chasing a butterfly.

"I see what you mean," He removed a golden pocket watch from his top pocket. "I would join you, but I have an important meeting with the one and only Madame Hex, must be off but I wish you have an enjoyable experience."

With a tip of his hat and a wave of his cane he was off, leaving that sweet scent in his wake.

Freeze Blade sighed, beginning to believe he was going to be the only one stuck with the batty brigade. How unfortunate fate can be. That is, until a unicorn/dragon hybrid with black wing highlights and painted claws soared gracefully overhead.

"Hey Whirlwind! Wanna join our sleepover?" Rattle Shake called up to her. She stopped in mid air, hovering for a moment before swooping down to land beside Night Shift.

"What was that about a sleepover?" She wasn't the useral image you might expect someone who was half unicorn to have, her face was covered with multiple dark silver piercings, a black cross hung loosely around her neck while she wore an awfully lot of mascara, even for a girl. Rattle Shake wasn't daunted by her appearance.

"I'm having a sleepover, would you like to come?"

"We're gonna stay up all night and watch scary movies," added Night Shift.

"I do like scary movies," Whirlwind considered this, coming to a simple decision. "I'll join you due to the fact that I have nothing more important to do, not because I want to hang around with a load of pansies."

"I love pansies! They look so nice on my windowsill." Her comment went right over Rattle Shake's head.

Now a party of four but still out for more, they headed into a more urban area consisting of some shops, homes and a small park. The group split, Rattle Shake and Whirlwind going to search the park while Night Shift and Freeze Blade checked the town for more possible members to recruit.

In the park, Rattle Shake saw a few Skylanders playing something under a leafy oak tree, laughing cheerfully.

"C'mon Whirly, let's go ask them!" Rattle rushed over; Whirlwind stayed where she was, she had her earbuds in and couldn't hear a thing other than pounding death metal.

The undead snake approached the group consisting of Fire Kracken, Star Strike and Stealth Elf. They were playing double jump rope, Star Strike and Stealth Elf swinging the ropes while Fire Kracken expertly jumped and twisted between them.

"Hi Fire Kracken, what you up to?"

The kracken didn't pause in his bouncing but twirled round to face Rattle. "Just practising for the Skylands jump rope championship," He flipped to prove his point. "You want to join?"

"I'd love to but I'm organizing a sleepover and looking for others to invite. I'm guessing you can't?"

"Sorry but me an' the girls are busy, maybe some other time?"

"Yeah, some other time. See ya later Kracken!"

He unsuccessfully slithered away, leaving the Skylander to his hopping.

Xxxxxxx

Night Shift and Freeze Blade weren't having much luck either. Having gone their separate ways Freeze was searching around a residential area, not finding a soul.

"Over 70+ Skylanders and I can't find a single one!"

He had looked everywhere, in gardens, in shops, even up trees and in trash cans yet it proved futile.

"That's it, I give up!" He would of given up and stomped off there and then, had it not been for the small orange gremlin caught out the corner of his eye. The gremlin fled, knowing he had been seen when he shouldn't of.

"Hey wait!" Freeze Blade sped after him. "Do you wanna be part of our sleepover?"

It was no use, he had already rounded a corner down a dark alleyway and melted with the shadows. Freeze came to rest, knowing he had lost the chase.

"Fish sticks! What an I gonna do now?" He stood and thought deeply, not hearing the door of the house he was standing in front of creek open.

"Maybe I should-!" WHAM!

"What the heck man?!" He stumped back, rubbing his head due to the impact it received. A ghoul was standing on the house porch brandishing a broom.

"You kids get off my lawn!"

"Grim Creeper? I wasn't-OW!" Freeze Blade tried to dodge the creeper's blows and eventually took off, getting chased and repeatedly spanked by the broom.

Xxxxxxx

Night Shift was also looking around the district, singing merrily as he checked down the back alleys.

"Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your girlfriend! No way! No Way! Think you need a new one!" Passing a street corner he came across a robotic looking dragon staring into space with his tongue lolling out.

"Hi Drobot! Are you busy?"

"Durrr..." He didn't look at Night, appearing to be off somewhere in the Cloud Kingdom.

"I like cupcakes!"

"OMG I like cupcakes too! You're defiantly coming to our sleepover." With that Night Shift grabbed the willing Drobot by the wrist and dragged him away, the dragon not resisting in any way.

The group met back up outside Magna scrap yard, Night Shift introducing their newest recruit.

"Everyone, this is Drobot and he likes cupcakes, say hi Drobot."

"Durrr..." Rattle Shake and Whirlwind gave him curious looks.

"He's just shy."

At that moment Freeze Blade tripped out of the nearest bush, shaking leaves and twigs from his once slick fur. "Crazy old ghouls and their stupid brooms..."

"Wow Freeze Blade, you look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards!" exclaimed Rattle Shake.

"Because I pretty much was! Do you know how long it will take to get these thorns out of my fur?"

"We could give you a makeover!" Night Shift had another one of his 'bright ideas'. "Don't worry, we'll make you a pretty kitty in no time!"

"Gah!" Night took Freeze Blade's wrist in his vice-like grip, pulling him all the way to Rattle Shake's house.

Xxxxxxx

"Snake-o, we're home!" Rattle Shake flung open the door to his home and paraded in, the rest of his crew following (Freeze Blade still getting tugged along by Night Shift).

In the living room a small red snake sat reading a thick encyclopedia, tiny reading glasses perched on his nose.

"Snake-o! Where are you?"

Spitting a hiss of annoyance the little serpent placed his specks on the coffee table and slithered out to meet his master.

"There you are!"

"No dung Sherlock," muttered Whirlwind.

"Snake-o, be a dear and show our guests the party room, I'm going to to order pizza for later." The Skylander swished into the kitchen leaving Snake-o with the rest; he beckoned them down the corridor with his tail tip.

"Party room?" Freeze Blade wasn't sure he liked the sound of that.

"You're going to love it! Me and Rattle decorated it ourselves," Night Shift remained the forever optimist. "Here we are!"

Snake-o dipped his head and left them at the door, Night Shift swung it open and revealed the flashy interior.

It was a medium-sized room that just screamed 'unlimited sleepover'. The floor was covered by a fluffy red carpet and littered with brightly coloured bean bags positioned around a flat screen HD television hanging on the wall. A large stereo and sound system was set up across the opposite wall while a table next it was piled high with fizzy drinks and bowls of candy.

"Okay, this does look one sweet set up," even Freeze Blade was mildly impressed. "But I do wonder why the walls are bright pink."

"Are you ready to party?" Rattle Shake entered the room with a flourish. "Night Shift, turn it up!"

The vampire went over to the stereo and blasted out some Onepawrection.

"Snake-o, bring the refreshments!"

Still hissing under his breath the little snake slunk in wearing a mini butlers outfit and carrying a tray of drinks on his head.

"And now, makeover time!" Rattle and Night eyed Freeze Blade up evilly.

"Help me..."

Xxxxxxx

"And you're done!" Night Shift put the finishing touches on Freeze Blade's new look, standing back to admire his work with Rattle Shake. "I do say Shakey, this has to be my best one so far."

"Oh yes, he does look quite dazzling if I do say so myself."

"Ugh..." After undergoing hours of washing, clipping, blow drying, straitening and curling Freeze was yet to learn what he now looked like.

"Ready for the great unveiling?" Rattle Shake held up a mirror and Freeze Blade almost fainted.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

He was a monstrosity, no, worse, a _girly_ monstrosity. His fur was everywhere, curled and tied up with various rainbow scrunchies then streaked with scarlet highlights. His face was no better, it looked like Wreckingball had been let lose with a multi-coloured pack of sharpies (though there was no need for the overly used blusher across his reddening muzzle). But that was not all, oh no, they just had to go and put him in a dress. _A dress! _How the heck they got it on him without him even noticing was not something Freeze Blade wanted to find out.

"We made you all pretty!" Night Shift seemed incredibly proud of what he had done, Freeze Blade not so much. "Do you like it?"

"Do I like it? Do I like it? IT LOOKS LIKE A FREAKING FIRETRUCK RAN OVER MY FACE!"

"He likes it! He like it!" Night Shift and Rattle Shake chanted while prancing around. "This is so going on Facebook!"

"Don't you dare! I don't want the guys seeing me like this." Wash Buckler chose this awkward moment to pop up outside the window.

"Hey mah shawties wat's up dawg? Yow, Freeze! Lookin' good there mate."

Freeze Blade covered his face. "Why? Just, why..."

xxxxxx

After Wash Buckler was gone and Whirlwind had fixed Freeze Blade back to normal Rattle Shake decided it was time for movies. Night Shift was going through them,

"How to train your chompie, Blast and Furious 2, Kung Fu Kracken, Krack-it Kaos..."

"What about this one?" Rattle Shake held up a DVD case, on the cover was an incredibly muscular Hugo and unimpressive weedy Flynn. Whirlwind peered at it.

"Hugo the Hero and little boy Flynn battle the ferocious flying sheep? You said we were watching a scary movie!"

"The part with the flying sheep flock is pretty scary..."

Whirlwind brushed past him and rummaged through the DVDs. "No, let's watch this one!" She pulled out a black case with a creepy picture of a cyclops on the front.

"The cyclops in black," Read Freeze Blade.

Whirlwind switched the TV on and placed the disc in before anyone could object to her film choice. They gathered around the screen, Rattle Shake and Night Shift close together, Whirlwind and Freeze Blade spaced further apart, Drobot stared at the wall drooling.

The dragon hybrid pressed play, the room grew silent.

The movie played on, Night Shift and Rattle Shake hugging each other in fear and screaming at each little thing. Freeze Blade was also on edge, knees tucked close to his chest, squeezing a Roller Brawl plushie for comfort. Whirlwind examined her painted claws, finding the film a bit of a bore.

It was a dramatic part, the tension was building, the guy was about to open the door and...

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"AAAAHHHH!" Everyone jumped, Rattle Shake pretty much hopping into Night Shift's arms.

"Pizza delivery for Rattle Shake and Co!"

"I'll get it," The Skylander slithered to the front door, leaving the others cowering in the party room.

He opened the door a fraction, "Hello?"

"Hey dude!" Standing there in a Domino's delivery outfit was Boom Jet, a couple of pizza boxes in his arms. "You feeling all right bro? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I'm fine, just don't mention ghosts!" He took the boxes and paid Boom Jet, closing the door he went back to the room.

"Come on everyone! I got enough to share,"

"Pizza!"

"Aaahh!" Drobot pounced onto the snake and clung on with his claws, Rattle Shake desperately flailing to shake him off. "Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"

"WHERE ARE MAH CUPCAKES!?"

"Yeah, I'm out." Freeze Blade slipped off to hide in the bathroom.

"Night Shift, help me!"

The vampire would of loved to lend a glove, too bad he was fixed on the film, oblivious to all around him. Whirlwind? She was no use at all, just sitting on the floor sharpening her pocket knife.

Xxxxxxx

Freeze Blade stood in the bathroom looking out of the open window, letting the cool breeze ruffle his slivery-grey fur. "At least it's nice and quiet in here."

What he didn't notice was the battered street sphinx slinking around, ready to leap onto the windowsill and caterwaul her song.

"MMMAAAAARRRRRROOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!"

"OH MY WAFFLES ITS A DEMON CAT FROM HELL!" He sprinted from the bathroom, tripping on a rubber duck and face-planting the floor. The sphinx poked her head through the window, reviling her scarred features. This was Alley Cat Scratch, leader of the feared Street Strays Gang.

"That's funny, they normally throw stuff and shout, not scream and knock themselves out." She jumped from the ledge and placed a clawed paw on his neck.

"He's out cold, literally. I better warm him up." She curled down next to the ice cat, close enough to share his body heat, and fell asleep.

Xxxxxxx

Night Shift sensed sunlight pushing its way into the room which he slept, probing him awake. He moved to stretch, but found there was something in his arms. Something...warm? Snapping his eyes open he saw Rattle Shake coiled up tightly in his arms, snoring peacefully. _No, this couldn't be, could it?_

"Ugh! Rattle Shake!" He shoved the snake away, sending him crashing into the wall and jolting into the waking world.

"Who...? What...? Where...?"

"Freeze Blade!"

Night Shift now rounded on the ice cat asleep on the floor cuddling the Roller Brawl plushie, Scratch snoozing soundly on his chest.

"What are you doing with my Roller Brawl plushie?!"

"Huh...?" Freeze awoke with Night Shift crowing over him, sending him jerking back in shock. The action woke Scratch, who jumped up and slapped Freeze Blade across the face.

"What the fudge are you doing you weirdo?!"

"I'd answer you Scratch, but I'm trying to work out why I'm in a suit."

Whirlwind let out a distressed cry. "My lovely nails! They're all black and sharp and ugly!"

"Why can I taste pizza?" Drobot was as awakening, swiping an unsure tongue over his jaws.

"Why are you people all in my house?! Get out!" Rattle Shake was now aware of all the Skylanders in his house and wanted them out. NOW!

Freeze Blade rubbed his sore cheek, puzzled at how he couldn't remember anything from the last twenty-four hours.

"We are one seriously screwed up bunch," He shrugged and left the house with the others.

Xxxxxxx

"I'm going to kill them!"

Night Shift's threats echoed around Woodburrow, almost drowned out by laughter from the gathered Skylanders and village residents. A giant screen projector was showing all of yesterdays past events, from Freeze Blade's weather report getting interrupted to Drobot attacking Rattle Shake, it was all up there for everyone to see.

The gun slinging snake was by Night Shift's side, trying to hide his red face. If it was from his anger or embarrassment he couldn't tell. Freeze Blade was on Night's other side, his cheeks glowing pink as his 'makeover' came up on screen.

"HAHA! Night Shift has a Roller Brawl plushie!" Rider nearly fell off Fright in his hysterics.

That was the last straw.

"I shall shave them bald!" Night Shift set off on his quest, only to be stopped by a cool hand on his shoulder,

"And I'll hold them down." Freeze Blade smirked darkly, preparing to find the sneaky pair. Rattle Shake took one last look at the screen then hurried after them.

"Wait up, those blighters need some shots too!"

Whirlwind, Drobot and Scratch were also tired of the sniggering and had left respectably to hide their faces.

And Pop Fizz and Flower? Well, they will be keeping a _very _low profile for a while.

**Fear Night Shift and his fur clippers of doom! XD **

**Long story short, I got bored on a nine hour flight and this was produced, don't flame me. I had more fun writing this than I thought, there may be a sequel in the future.**


End file.
